pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
