I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
