I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
