hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
