Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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