atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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