Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
