This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
