Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
