just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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