I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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