There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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