Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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