i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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