$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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