mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
