I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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