I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
