Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm at about main and main street
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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