im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
