Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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