and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
