I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
