so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
