A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
