no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
