did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
