you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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