Sry I called you an 8
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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