Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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