it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
