So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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