how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
