Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
