He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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