i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
