she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
