Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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