Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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