nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
