I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
