She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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