i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
