Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
