Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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