For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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