census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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