What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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