brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
