just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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