His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
