I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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