YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
