Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
